Not often that I forward anything from my brother (and you are *SO* grateful for this, even though you don't know it), but this one I had to forward (even re-formatted it since it looked ghastly).
I drove moving vans, taxis, and busses in Dallas and Austin from 1976 till 1991. I've seen more stuff happen in vehicles than you'd believe (one gets a rather unique perspective from the cab of a vehicle that is at the 'legal height' for vehicles). There are, for example, a number of women who little strip-teases in their cars to titillate truck drivers.
The *most* dangerous thing you can do in a car is to pay attention to *anything* other than driving it (like girls driving with their skirts up and panties down). While drunks and sleepers get the brunt of the 'blame' (since everything else is an 'accident'), I can assure you that defensive driving works, and it only works if you are paying attention. Most 'accidents' are avoidable.
That said, here's the 'joke':
This morning on the Interstate, I looked over to my left and there was a woman in a brand new Cadillac Doing 65 mph with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner.
I looked away for a couple seconds--to continue shaving--and when I looked back she was halfway over in my lane, still working on that makeup.
As a man, I don't scare easily, but she scared me so much I dropped my electric shaver, which knocked the donut out of my other hand.
In all The confusion of trying to straighten out the car using my knees against the steering wheel, it knocked my cell phone away from my ear which fell into the coffee between my legs, splashed, and burned big Jim and the twins, ruined the darn phone, soaked my trousers, and disconnected an important call.
Damn women drivers
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