August 2010 Archives

The Problem

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Wit spoel chequers is that Angles has too many homonyms.  While a leek in the soup pot is good, a leak in the soup pot is bad.  A boat sail isn't a boat sale.

Theirs gong two bee mini chintzes too git et a beet of, if Angles isn't your once language.

Note to my Xian Friend

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I agree with my Muslim and Jewish friends that the J-man was a really neat individual, but he was not the 'son of God' (nor was Hercules, Thor, etc.).

I agree with you Xian folks in that He said he was the living incarnation of God.  That's evident if you just try the mushrooms, honest.  If you note, it's the Hindu thing (atman and Brahman are one).


Everything is the 'living incarnation of God' (from the clay of which you were fashioned, all the way up to you).

Legalize Being Black!

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Frank S.ent Spaghetti:

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For 2 years a man was having an affair with an Italian woman. 

One night, she confided in him that she was pregnant. Not wanting to ruin his reputation or his marriage, He paid her a large sum of money if she would go to Italy to secretly have the child. If she stayed in Italy to raise the child, he would also provide child support until the child turned 18. 

She agreed, but asked how he would know when the baby was born. 

To keep it discrete, he told her to simply mail him a post card, and write 'Spaghetti' on the back. 

He would then arrange for the child support payments to begin. 

One day, about 9 months later, he came home to his confused wife. 

Honey!, she said, 'you received a very strange post card today.'

Oh, just give it to me and I'll explain it later,' he said. 

The wife obeyed and watched as her husband read the card, turned white, and fainted. 

On the card was written: Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti. Three with meatballs, two without. Send extra sauce. 


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Cured her Crohn's Disease

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Way to go, Shawn!

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Shawn stopped taking his HIV meds on April 20, 2009. He has been taking the Rick Simpson Hemp oil for 8 months. He no longer feel like he has AIDS. With his doctor's OK and supervision he has gone off his meds to see if the oil has cured him of AIDS

Yes, it does...

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Frank S.ent a Fishy Story

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A Fishy Story........ 

A guy who lives at Lake Conroe 

(50 miles north of Houston ) saw a ball bouncing 
around kind of strange in the lake and went to 

It turned out to be a flathead catfish that had   
apparently tried to swallow a basketball which 
became stuck in its mouth!! 

The fish was totally exhausted from trying to 
dive, but unable to, because the ball would 
always bring him back up to the surface. 
The guy tried numerous times to get the ball out, 
but was unsuccessful. He finally had his wife cut 
the ball in order to deflate it and release the hungry 

You probably wouldn't have believed this, 
if you hadn't seen the following pictures: 


Be kinder than necessary 
because everyone bites off 
more than they can chew 
sometime in life...
Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I need, so you should use your discretion. My house should have somewhere between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.

Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough insulation in them). 

As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminum, vinyl, or composite siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminum, be prepared to explain your decision in detail.)

Please take care that modern design practices and the latest materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted, however, that kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among other things, my 1952 Gibson refrigerator. 

To insure that you are building the correct house for our entire family, make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our in-laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year. 

Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that you make. 

Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to develop the overall plans for the house: Get the big picture. At this time, for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the color of the carpet. However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue. 

Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect the house to be under roof within 48 hours. 

While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. 

Please make sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the population in my area that they like the features this house has. I advise you to run up and look at my neighbor's house that he constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that we would also like in our new home, particularly the 75-foot swimming pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our new house without impacting the final cost. 

Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of later design changes. 

You must be thrilled to be working on as an interesting project as this! To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often. 

Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans. 

PS: My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to find another architect. 

PPS: Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.

I work with people who would do good to remember the importance of this song.



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