Why did the potato cross the road?
He saw a fork up ahead.
How do you describe an angry potato?
Why didn't the mother potato want her daughter to marry the famous newscaster?
Because he was a commontater.
Why wouldn't the reporter leave the mashed potatoes alone?
He desperately wanted a scoop.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato?
Anything, just butter him up.
What does a British potato say when it thinks something is wonderful?
What do you call a baby potato?
A small fry!