So we've got a basic 'identity' issue (are you male, female, or mixed). We'll call that 'gender'.
Then, you've got a 'who' that you want to do, and that 'who' has a gender, let's call that 'gender preference'.
Then you have a question as to whether or not you want to be the 'actor' or the 'acted upon' in a sexual relationship. The gay folks define this as 'top' and 'bottom' (or 'switch').
Then you have the question of 'control' of the relationship (very similar to the last point, but intellectual, not sexual). Let's use dom and sub for that.
In defining the last two, it might be easier to use an example of a dom partner in a relationship who is only happy when their 'slave' has penetrated them adequately. They are 'in control', but they are the 'bottom' (dom and bottom).
3x3x3x3 is 81 different 'identities' to work with in a sexual match-up.
Myself, I'm a male/het/switch/switch/switch (boring to always stay the same, yano?).
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