The Zero-G Polka
By Jeff Duntemann
To: "The Beer Barrel Polka"
Think of action, and reaction
Never mind the lack of traction;
When the band begins to play,
Grab your partner's hand,
Simply kick away.
We'll be whirling, we'll be reeling
And rebounding off the ceiling--
Don't pull my leg, my dear;
I haven't one to spare!
When Stashu's saxaphone begins to blare,
You can tell he pumps a lot of air;
He tends to fly around the ballroom;
That's why we've tied him to his chair.
So if you'd like to join me in a beer,
We could meet above the chadelier,
And suck some Schlitz from plastic bottles
And sing: Hurray, the gang's all here!
Turn off the G-force,
We wanna dance in mid-air!
No other recourse;
Cling to the floor if you dare!
But let us warn you:
A foot in the face is no crime--
They say all is fair in love, war, sex
And two-fourths time!
Is this the Lair of Great Cthulhu?
In the city of slime,
Where it is night all the time.
Bob Hope never went
Along the road to Great Cthulhu,
And Triple-A has no maps,
And all the Tcho Tcho's lay traps.
You'll see an ancient sunken city
Where the angles are wrong.
You'll see the fourth demonsion
If you're there very long.
Come to the conventicle,
Bring along your pentacle,
Otherwise you'll be dragged off by a tentacle.
A mountain's in the middle,
With a house on the peak.
A gnashin' and a thrashin'
And a clackin' of a beak.
Your soul you will be a lackin'
When you see that mighty Kraken.
Ooo-ooo, Great Cthulhu's startin' to speak.
So come on aboard,
Along the Road to Great Cthulhu,
Wen-di-gos and Dholes
Will make Big Macs of our souls.
Under the sea,
Down in the ancient city of R'lyeh,
In the Lair of Great Cthulhu
They'll suck your soul away...
(Great Cthulhu, Great Cthulhu
--- Suck your soul ---
Great Cthulhu, Great Cthulhu)
...In the Lair of Great Cthulhu,
They'll suck your soul away!