Q: Are there blood banks in England?
A: I don't know. But there's a liver pool.
Q: How do alligators make phone calls?
A: They croco-dial!
Q: What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek?
A: Fowl play.
Q: What did the lobster major in at the police academy?
A: Claw enforcement.
Q: What do you get if you cross a snake and a Lego set?
A: A boa constructor!
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A: A civil serpent!
Q: What would you get if you crossed a new born snake with a basketball?
A: A bouncing baby boa!
Q: How do you stop a snake from striking?
A: Pay it decent wages!
Q: What do you call a stolen sausage?
A: A missing link.
Q: What does the gorilla call his girlfriend?
A: His prime mate.
Q: What do you get when you cross a lobster with a baseball player?
A: A pinch hitter.
Q: What knight has extra goods to sell?
A: Sir Plus!
Q: Which Knight makes pottery?
A: Sir Amic.
Q: Why don't you ever see chickens in the zoo?
A: Because they can't afford the admission.
Q: Why are there fences around cemeteries?
A: Because people are dying to get in.
Q: Why did God make only one Yogi Bear?
A: Because when he tried to make a second one he made a boo-boo.
Q: Who's a bee's favorite singer?
Q: What do you get if you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
A: A slowpoke.
Q: How do you know when a train is eating?
A: You hear it chooing.
Q: Why didn't the teddy bear eat dessert?
A: Because he was stuffed.
Q: What did the chicken do at bat?
A: It fowled out.
Q: Why does it take longer to run from second to third base than it does from first to second?
A: Because you have a short stop between second and third.
Q: How did Mary's little lamb get to Mars?
A: By rocket sheep.
Q: Why are there no brunette jokes?
A: Because blondes would have to think them up.
Q: Did you hear about the dead blonde in the closet?
A: She was last years hide and seek winner.
Q: What happens if you get a gigabyte?
A: It megahertz.
Q: How does a lumberjack start his computer?
A: By Logging on
Q: What do you call a piece of wood with nothing to do?
Q: How do you kill a circus troupe?
A: Go for the juggler.
Q: What happened when a mother put a fire cracker under her pancakes?
A: She blew her stack.
Q: What happened when a guy got some vinegar in his ear?
A: He suffers from pickled hearing.
Q: How do camels hide in the desert?
A: With camelflage.
Q: How did the chewing gum cross the road?
A: It was stuck to the chicken's foot.
Q: What did the mommy volcano say to the baby volcano?
A: I lava you.
Q: Did you hear about the man who wore glasses on his butt?
A: He had terrific hindsight!